Wednesday, October 15, 2008

The Universal Declaration of the Rights of the Cat

To celebrate the 60th anniversary of the Universal Declaration of Human Rights, and the launch of We Are All Born Free, published in partnership with Amnesty International, in which there is a picture of Max, we announce the Universal Declaration of Cat Rights. Please feel free to add more rights by commenting on, or copying this post and linking back.

1. We cats are all born free and equal, with our own cat thoughts and ideas.
2.We all have the right to life, to be free and to be safe.
3. We have the right to sleep where ever we wish, no matter how muddy or wet we are, or whether the laundry is clean or dirty.
4. We have the right to control humans through the power of thought and the power of purr. If they do not come up to scratch then we have the right to move to a new home.
5. We have the right to scratch where ever we want, and whatever we want, be it ears or furniture, and we have the right to run up the curtains.
6.We have the right to poo where we please, in the litter tray, in our garden, next doors prize flower bed, under the litter tray or even in the tumble drier.
7.We have the right to be stroked when ever we want, but not to be piked up unless we desire to be picked up.
6. We have the right to meet at midnight and howl a song in praise of the beautiful moon.
9. Everything belongs to us. We can go where ever we wish. The world is ours.
10. We have the right to rest and relax.
11. We all have the right to life, to live free, to be safe.
12. All cats have the right to be protected by law, human law and cat law.

( Maurice adds a codicil: I have the right to be fed Parma ham at least once a week if not once a day.)

We are cats, creatures of infinite wisdom. 'We Are All Born Free' is a book that aims to teach children all around the world their rights under the Universal Declaration of Human Rights, so that they will respect the rights of others, so that they will demand their due from their governments. It is published in 30 different languages so far, and is very beautiful. You can see a slide show of the book here.
Every home should have one.


Anonymous said...

On behalf of my 4 cats, I would like to add:-

We have the right to refuse to be anything other than a cat. Cats must be allowed to behave like cats.

We have the right to supervise our humans at all times, during all activities.

What a much needed book from Amnesty that is.

Estorbo said...

We hab the righd to dreenk WARM, fullcream meelk.

We hab the righd to cashmere blanghets!

The righd ob cads to be broshed weeth the blue zoom brosh ees eenalienable!

We hab the righd nebber to leesten to our yoomans playeen' the flute or seengeen'...

We hab the righd to maghe war weeth raccoon bandidos.

Sharon said...

We have the right to lay on top of your book anytime you are reading as staring at a books is in no way as important as staring at a sleeping cat on top of a book.

We also have the right to walk across your keyboard while you are typing and pushing all of those mysteriously numbered F buttons until your computer screen has hopelessly gone blank and your un-proofed and half-finished email has been sent against your will.

Marie said...

This from Estorbo's CATtorneys, Neko and Marzipan, who visit his blog:

"Add a few amendments:

The anti-declawing amendment:

1. A well regulated set of pointy ends, being necessary to a good defense, the right to keep and bear claws, shall not be infringed.

The anti-silly furcut amendment:

2. The right of cats to be secure in their persons, fur, and effects, against unreasonable searches and seizures, shall not be violated, and no haircuts shall issue, but upon probable cause, supported by Oath or affirmation, and particularly describing the medical reason for furcuts, and the parts or things to be shaved."

Griffin said...

We have the right to walk by ourselves and all places are alike to us.

No human shall, with any cause, harm us, for when we scratch or bite, we do so in defence and it's your fault for not paying attention to the forward motion of whiskers or growls.

We have the right to a comfortable lap when WE choose, not when YOU say so.

Maurice has the inalienable right to Parma ham when he says so.

We hold this truth to be self-evident, that all cats are more equal than humans whatever humans may think.

This is MY chair not yours even if you bought it.

Anonymous said...

We have the right to eat whatever we want to eat, even if you're eating it right now.

We have the right to change our minds about what we like to eat, and no amount of saying "but you've always liked that!" will convince us that we no longer like it.

We have the right to have our feelings taken into consideration rather than being tossed out on the street, left outside in all weathers, given away if our fur color doesn't match the upholstery, and other cruel acts.

El Senor Don Estorbo has the right to have full fat organic milk on demand.

Dreaming Stone said...

We have the right to burst in, all night eyed and slightly muddy from being abroad amongst the wild wind and rain. There is also our right to then jump straight onto your lap - here we will emit long rumbling sing-song purrs as we tread our soaked front paws (and the long rabbity ones at the back) into your clean dry cotton lap. As soon as this has been satisfactorily achieved, we furthermore have the right to remove our towelled selves to within comfortable airing distance of the nearest source of proper heat.

Anonymous said...

Rusty, Sporran and Geiger:

We have the right to set our own exchange rates for meals, cuddles and any other demands that may be made on us.

We have the right to refuse any and all anthropomorphic overtures when such overtures are not instigated on our terms.This may include appropriation of blogs when and if such measures suit us.(see: exchange rates, above)

We have the right to refuse generic brands, particularly if the stuff is a dodgy, bright pink.

We have the right, borrowing from the Constitution of USA, to plead the Fifth Amendment.

Dinah: Can't argue with any of this so far.

Anonymous said...

we got the rite ta stan haf in an haf outta the door. no matta the wether nor tym a day.

we got the rite to a pilla; you got the rite to the othrr pilla, wit the unnrrstaning that some pillas ar more eekwal than othrrs.

we got the rite to sammin in all its forms -- cans, powchez, an bokzez; chunk, ground, pink, an az crunchies. frrs thing in the morrning [like bfor yer kawffee, pleez] an all thru the nite.

we got the rite to emetic grasses an socks fulla nip.

we got the rite to howl in the car becuz bein inna car izint natchrul.

we got the rite to sulk after bein jabbed at the docs. until there is sammin.

we got the rite to nip ankulz ta make the vakyooming stop. [it wrrks.]

we got the rite ta sit on the back a the soffa an stare at the wall batween the windas witout bein kweschunned.

we got the rite ta shhredd the skreen cuz there ar brrds out there.

we got the rite to be safe an wrrm an rubbed dri afta wandring inna mist.

we got the rite ta luv an be luvved, ta respekt an be respekted, ta give an ta get, and ta a gentul end when the end is inevvitabl.

and sammin.

[an a wrrd from Mine -- That's enough, Halloween. Next week we will take up the universal rights of salmon. -- fish rites? can ya beleeve it? whatta kidda Mine is.]


Anonymous said...

For and on behalf of homeless cats, including feral cats born and living in the wild, cats who have no human families, and pet cats who are have lost their human families, either accidentally or as a result of abandonment:
1. A homeless cat has the right to be fed at the door of any human habitation or business establishment.
2. A homeless cat has the right to remain within a cat colony if it so desires.
3. Homeless cats have the right to live among cat colonies and be fed, maintained and protected by humans willing to do so.
4. A homeless cat has a right to be given shelter during cold and inclement weather.
5. Kittens have the right to stay with their mommy until they are fully weaned.
6. Kittens which will be adopted have the right to go to their new homes with at least one sibling.
7. Any "leftover" kitten in a litter has the right to spend its life with its mother.

Anonymous said...

We reserve the right to be cats - to party until late on full moon nights, to hunt, to change our minds (why have a mind if you can't change it?) about any and everything, to deposit fur balls wherever and whenever the need arises, to have our own secret cat lives about which our humans can only guess. And Estorbo is to have have organic, full cream, warm milk every day for the rest of his libe.

Mickey's Musings said...

Those 12 points get my 2 paws up approval!!
I also like what the other kitties added in the comments too ;)
Purrs Mickey

PeeEss: Purrs for Maurice

ChrisJ said...

Chrisj's cat Bailey says: We have the right to come -- or do whatever -- WHEN and IF we want to.

We have the right to have tummy scratches as frequently as whenever we deem reasonable.

El Senor Don Estorbo has the right to anything and everything at will, because he is a beeg blaghe cad and he will keeell you if you don' gibe heem reespeght.

Kim said...

We have the right to sleep on the bed or in it, according to how we feel at the time :)

Kim x

(on behalf of Max and Arnie)

Shammickite said...

Cats who leave comments on blogs have the right to learn how to spell.

Janet said...

On behalf of Hobbes and Wonky, who are supervising thewood stove fire:

We have the right to help Her eat Her breakfast (lunch/supper.) We DO like yogurt with fruit. And granola, except for the almond bits. And we might like salad dressing.

We have the right to barf in our Special Spot (on the carpet as close to the front of His computer as possible, preferably on some cables) whenever the urge takes us, no matter how far from the spot we may be. We are noble and share this spot with the dogs.

We have the right to play hockey with the jingle ball by the bed in the middle of the night, when we are not upholding our right to sleep wrapped around the top of Her head and/or behind Her knees.

We have the right to make total idiots of ourselves when, through the window, we spot an eagle in a nearby tree and we twitch and nitter at it. Ditto having an attack of the Imaginaries. A rich fantasy life is good.

We have the right to escort Her throughout the house, keeping close so nothing else can get Her feet.

The Ginger Darlings said...

From Nick Green: more wonderful rights that are just so very CAT:

Those are all enshrined. Perhaps additions might include:

We have the right to unlimited free medical care.
We have the right not to be put into cat carriers and taken to the vets.
We have the right to make flatly contradictory rights. That's your problem.

thanks Nick.

Anonymous said...

Just skipping away from rights for a are the sneezers, Jackie? Hope all is manageable, if not quite under control.
PS Today, Sporran's to have surgery for a broken femur.

Ikaika said...

I would just like to add:

We have the right to clean, fresh water, readily accessible at all times.

We have the right to have our PTU's (prisoner transport units -- aka [for Estorbo] "onattracteeb gray barx") cleaned after each use.

We have the right to self-expression, including, but not limited to, meowing in our humans' faces at 5 am; doing happy feet on every article of knit clothing our humans own; and creating cat art from human furniture.

We reserve the right to add to or amend any or all of the afore listed or soon to be enumerated rights.

That just about covers it.


Estorbo said...

Yoomans who read cads' blargs need senses of humour...or do they nard lighe Domeeneecan cads?

The Ginger Darlings said...

We love the big black Dominican cat, dark as midnight and cool as a shadow.
From the gingers who shine like the sun.
Oh, and we have the right to sneeze on your book just before you turn the page.

Estorbo said...

Muchas Gracias, Geenger Cads! Dark as Meednighd...I lighe know my fors' name when the Wooman adopted me was Meednighd? Then my personality came to the front an' she had to change my name. Obstacle. Eempedeemen'. Obstroction. Sigh. Ees true.