Tuesday, February 3, 2009

No light shining into the darkness yet and the house still waits and hopes



We have not spoken of Mr Griffiths for a while, because we did not know what to say. His house still waits, beautiful in the snow, charmed into the twenty first century as if from a story book. But he is ill and still in hospital where in his body he seems fit, and so young looking for his great age. But the longer he is there the more his mind seems to wander and the doctors are still trying to find out why, still trying to help.
It is warm in the hospital and he is cared for with kindness, but it is not home and home is where he wants to be, despite the cold, despite the snow.
We all miss him, his kindness to cats, his light through the windows in the dark of night.

17 comments:

Morning's Minion said...

Hiraeth: "It is difficult to define hiraeth, but to me it means the consciousness of man being out of his home area and that which is dear to him." [Martyn Lloyd-Jones]
I think that for many this sense of place is so strongly ingrained that it is difficult to be whole when taken away from home. I saw this happen to my mother when she had to be moved from her lifetime home to a care fascility---she became so confused.
It makes one wish that it were always possible to live out one's days, well cared for, in a place of dear familiarity.

The Good Life in Virginia said...

i was thinking about mr. griffiths and wondering how he was. so sorry he is still hospitalized. but as you say, it is warm there and he is cared for but, it isn't home and we all long to be in our places of comfort.

quiltcat said...

I wish there were some way that he could come home and be looked after there. I have a feeling his mind might come back to him if he were in his familiar surroundings. And he would be a lot happier.

NAL said...

Wishing Mr Girffiths could be at home - I am sure he would be happier there and perhaps a good deal less confused.

I saw this in my 95-year-old mother and in myself last year when we both (due to my illness) spent time in a hospital & nursing home - it was 8 months for my mother and 1 month for me - and though the staff were kind, I never want either of us to go back into that kind of situation.

Is there anyone who could be with Mr Griffiths at home? Even if being at home would shorten his days, I am sure his remaining time would have much more quality and he would be much happier.

Hoping he can be in his wonderful house soon -

NAL

Linda Navroth said...

I and my Lads (Angus & Scooter) send out good thoughts to Mr. Griffiths. His house looks so forelorn in the snow. Alas, this is what happens when an older person spends too much time in a hospital or nursing home. The minds of the elders are sometimes precarious at best and removing them from the familiar is not healthy for them mentally. This happens to my 87 year-old father when necessity takes him to such places.

Val said...

Perhaps someone could take him some photos of his home so he knows it's still waiting for him and he could show people at the hospital..it looks in your photos like it is waiting for him

The Ginger Darlings said...

I have taken him a photo of Nadolig. I was thinking that I would take in the book, Welsh Homes. I fear that when he talks about being on TV and on the radio people think it is all part of his muddle headedness, when it is all real.
I wasn't sure if a picture of the house would make thing better or worse for him he has such a yearning and need and desire to be there.

Edith Newell-Beattie said...

The photo is beautiful as are the words and the sense that there is more than what is being spoken.

Anonymous said...

Very often, confusion in hospital is caused by dehydration - sometimes it is difficult for older people to drink enough when they are feeling poorly. And being in a strange place is never a good thing, the power of 'home' as a healer is greater than we think. We send our love and thoughts to Mr Griffiths, and hope that he can come home soon.

Griffin said...

It sounds as if he longs to leave and walk with his cats and his youth again... to do that he cannot be anywhere but home. There are times when, however sad, his greatest wishes need to be heard - even if they are against medical sense.

Each of us owns our own lives after all. It's very sad to hear of him in his sorrows like this. I hope nobody will keep me from my wish when I am older.

May the spirits of his cats come to him in his dreams and comfort him. I give to him half the strength I have and send it to him by you and the Three.

Marjorie Dawson said...

I'm so sorry Mr Griffiths isn't home yet. I hope with all my heart that he can - to not be able to be at home must be the worst possible thing ever. Home is our rock and our anchor. Wish him well if you can.

moreidlethoughts said...

I'm sure that "Welsh Homes" would be a powerful aid, if only to convince hospital folk that his mind wanders through truth, not fantasy.
Your kindness shines like a beacon.I hope Mr.Griffiths will soon be where he longs to be.

NAL said...

Yes, I agree - Welsh Homes (and any other photos of home and the cats) will surely be a help. I remember taking a picture of her home to a woman who will never leave the nursing home - she asked for the picture. Pictures are, after all, "worth a thousand words".

There is a great deal of wisdom in all the comments posted and it should be heeded - for all the good intentions of those in the medical community, sometimes the attempts to heal take place with a cost to happiness and the quality of remaining life.

In addition to dehydration, in hospital the lack of familiar surroundings and quality sleep, coupled with medications, can be muddling.

You are so kind, Jackie, to bring comfort to Mr Griffiths. Thank you from those of us who are too far away to do so.

NAL

Nan and =^..^= said...

I too hope that Mr. Griffiths can come home very soon. I know that when one of my relatives was hospitalized, confusion occurred and I was told that it is common and a way for older people deal with the stress of being in the hospital so I'm hoping that Mr. Griffiths has the opportunity to go home with someone to be a companion or with someone to look in on him and that his confusion will be alleviated.
All the best to him.

my croft said...

Would it be possible for Mr Griffiths to be at home in the day (with support) and in hospital at night? Or vice versa? Or some other combination? The comfort and confidence of being at home would be such a blessing to him. Does he have anyone with authority to speak for him or intervene on his behalf? I'm sure your loyal and caring friendship brings him joy and welcome harbor of familiarity.

My Mom just turned 83, and I know that it would be extremely difficult if she had to learn a new place -- her short-term memory is not as supple as it once was, and she has lived in this house for all but 6 years of her life. When my grandfather (her father) was in the hospital as his life was ending, the staff was impatient with him "wandering around" at night. But it was clear to me from their description that he wasn't wandering. He'd get up at night to go somewhere in the house, follow the well known path and find himself lost because the path he knew was not in the place he was. He wasn't confused. He was -- quite literally -- displaced.

dragonladych said...

How sad! Don't we all hope we can stay in our familiar places for ever. Hospitals are very good but they can't cure everything. A house is like a part of one's soul.

I wish all the best to Mr Griffiths!

Milo and Alfie said...

We are glad he will be home soon.