A recipe for Posh Sticks

The manufacture and acquisition of posh sticks is a delicate and dangerous operation involving mind control and serious sneakery.
Posh sticks come in many flavors, tomato sauce, bolognaise, venison stew, but my favorite is beef in beer.
First you have to look into the eyes of the two legs and make them think, "hhmmmm... haven't had beef in beer for a while".
She then gets a pack of diced stewing steak ( made from Kath's Dexter cows that chased me through the field when we went to visit ), some onions, a bottle of chocolate stout and some flour. She fries the meat a little to brown it, takes it out of the pan and puts in chopped onions to brown those and then adds a big spoon of flour and stirs it quick sharp with the posh stick. Then She puts the meat back in the pan, and all the juicey juices and it all looks like mush and I remember how scared I was of that cow, and smile a little smile inside my mouth, all the while watching to see where the stick is. Then She adds the chocolate stout a bit at a time, and lots of stirring happens and that stick just takes up the juices. Then, into the oven with it all for about two hours with pepper and salt and a smile, and I curl up warm by the cooker and keep an eye on the stick which is out of reach and I hope and hope that She won't wash it and the phone will ring and She will go out of the room and I can reach up up up high and flick it with my tongue, and away.
Yum.
Yes, beef in beer. My favorite.
She gets quite cross. I heard Her tell Hannah that She wants ten new wooden spoons for Her birthday. Somehow this is related to me. I know because She gave me a Black Look when She said it. But tomorrow is Hannah's birthday and she will be 15 and last year I was her birthday present, and that makes me very proud.
I hope she still wants me this year.